Signs Your Partner's New Year's Promises Are Just Empty Words
Identifying Healthy and Toxic Relationships with Providence's Support
As each new year begins, many of us set resolutions and embrace new beginnings. For some, this includes making plans with partners or family members to improve relationships and create a better future together. However, it's important to reflect on whether these resolutions are truly leading to positive changes, especially if you suspect you might be in an unhealthy relationship.
Healthy vs. Toxic Relationships
Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and open communication. They provide a safe space for both partners to grow and support each other. On the other hand, toxic relationships are characterized by manipulation, control, and emotional or physical abuse. These relationships can be damaging and hinder personal growth and happiness.
New Year's Resolutions: A Time for Change?
It's common to make resolutions with the hope of improving our lives and relationships. But if you're in a toxic relationship, these resolutions might not lead to the positive changes you desire. After only a month into the new year, it's worth asking yourself:
v Has the relationship changed in a positive way?
v Are you feeling more respected, valued, and supported?
Here are some common New Year's resolutions or promises that an abusive partner might make. Reflect on whether you have heard similar promises in your relationship:
Checklist: Are You Still in an Unhealthy Relationship?
Here are some signs to help you determine if your relationship is still unhealthy or if you are seeing genuine change:
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Signs of an unhealthy relationship dynamic can include: |
Signs of genuine change in a relationship may include: |
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¨ Lack of Respect: Does your partner frequently belittle or criticize you? ¨ Control: Does your partner try to control your actions, decisions, or who you spend time with? ¨ Isolation: Are you being isolated from friends and family? ¨ Fear: Do you feel afraid of your partner or their reactions? ¨ Emotional Manipulation: Does your partner use guilt or manipulation to get their way? ¨ Physical Abuse: Have there been instances of physical harm or threats? |
¨ Consistency: If your partner's behavior has improved and remained positive for an extended period, it is a good sign of genuine change.
¨ Actions Over Words: Look for actions that match their promises.
¨ Accountability: A partner who is genuinely changing will take responsibility for their past behavior and make efforts to avoid repeating it.
¨ Willingness to Seek Help: Genuine change often involves seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, and actively participating in the process.
¨ Improved Communication: Notice if there is an improvement in how you communicate with each other. Healthy communication is a key indicator of positive change.
¨ Trust Building: Trust is earned through small, consistent actions that show genuine care and connection.
¨ Listening and Understanding: A partner who listens and understands your needs and concerns is showing signs of genuine change.
¨ Respect and Dignity: Recognizing each interaction as a sacred encounter and treating each other with respect and dignity is crucial for a healthy relationship. |
If you recognize any of these signs, it might be time to seek support and consider making changes for your well-being. Seeking assistance does not imply that your relationship is unhealthy; rather, it provides an opportunity to discuss your situation with an objective third-party.
You are not alone. Learn more about PICAA
The Providence Intervention Center for Assault and Abuse (PICAA) is here to support you every step of the way. Whether you're seeking guidance, resources, or just someone to talk to, their advocates are available to help you on your journey to healing, growth, and change.
The PICAA team is embedded at Dawson Place, a child advocacy center in Everett, Wash. Forensic nurses work alongside victim advocates, law enforcement, mental health and medical staff, and others to bring safety, justice, and healing to victims of abuse. PICAA’s strong community partnerships allow it to serve patients at multiple hospitals throughout the region. Their team of advocates, forensic nurses, nurse practitioners and therapists offer an array of services to those affected by sexual, physical, and/or relationship violence.
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This information is not intended as a substitute for professional medical care. Always follow your health care professional’s instructions.
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